Anyone who has ever been involved in the organising of a fundraising event in a voluntary organisation knows full well the effort, the frustrations and the disappointments which are involved. Even worse was it for those who struggled to do such things in wartime circumstances. One sequence in the minutes of the 49th County of London Battalion's Entertainments Committee demonstrates this only too well (and could perhaps have provided the basis of a further episode of "Dad's Army"). 5th January 1944.......... the Chairman said that Major Denchfield would very much like to see us run a Smoking Concert at Vauxhall Institute, making a small charge for admission and supplying free beer, refreshments and sandwiches. Pte. Purdy gave us particulars of "The Gay Bohemians" Concert Party's specimen programme which Committee members found to be interesting. He said their fee was five guineas (£5. 5. 0. = £280 in 2023) but it might be possible to make a special arrangement. 2nd February 1944.......... The Chairman stated that Mr. Bullwinkle agreed to the use of the Institute for the purpose of a Smoking Concert. Pte. Purdy was asked to enquire for dates in the next six weeks when the "Gay Bohemians' Concert Party" would be available. The possibility of obtaining the use of the Southern Railway's Hall had occurred to the Chairman and he thought it would offer greater convenience if available. This idea was encouraged by the Committee. Power was granted to Lieutenant Hawkins and Pte. Purdy to make any arrangements that were necessary. 5th April 1944.......... The Chairman said that Captain Hopkins had reported that he had been unable to contact Major Fitzgerald of the 36th London (Southern Railway) Home Guard respecting the proposed's Smoking Concert; and that Captain Hopkins recommended that we should consider the possibility of holding the concert in the Southern Railways Hall as nil. Pte. Purdy complained bitterly of the delay experienced in this matter. He said it was three months since he first told the committee that he had found a suitable concert party and had received the Committee's sanction to proceed on the matter; and that he had been waiting over a month for Captain Hopkins to give an introduction to Major Fitzgerald. Pte. Purdy said he wished to withdraw from the Entertainments Sub-Committee and it was with great difficulty that the Chairman persuaded him not to do so. Private Quy proposed and L/Cpl. Crotty seconded a resolution that Major Denchfield, Captain Hopkins and Pte. Purdy be asked to establish contact with Major Fitzgerald forthwith with a view to arranging a Smoking Concert in the immediate future. 27th April 1944.......... Pte. Purdy was asked to report progress on the matter of the Smoking Concert for Saturday 13th May. He said he had met the Quartermaster of "D" Company, 36th County of London and talked over the arrangements. No charge will be made for the Hall and even a contribution to their social fund was not desired as that fund was already in a superlatively flourishing condition. Arrangements had been made for the use of the Ladies' and Gents' cloakrooms. There was a bar on the premises which we could make use of, separate from the Hall, where Meux's beer is obtainable. It was recommended that the idea of a set tea should be abandoned and that advantage should be taken of the 36th London's offer to cater for us at the rate of 2d (=50p) for a cup of tea and 2d for a piece of cake. They were willing to take responsibility for disposing of any supplies that might be left over, which they did not suppose would present difficulty. This would also relieve us of the onus of supplying crockery and labour. On the recommendation of the chairman, Pte. Purdy was asked to see that all artistes were suitably provided with refreshments and the cost thereof charged to the Fund. Pte. Purdy went on to say that the Hall would accommodate 500 persons and there were seats for 200. It was necessary, therefore, that he should know within a little, as early as possible, how many were likely to attend so that if necessary seats could be brought in to supplement the existing ones. It was agreed by the Committee that admission should be by programme only and that the issue of each programme shall be conditional upon a voluntary contribution of 2d (=50p) to the Fund. It was also agreed that children, other than children-in-arms, should be admitted but it was urged that members should use this privilege with discretion. The arrangements regarding times were agreed to as follows: 5.00 p.m. Doors open 5.30-6.00 p.m. Community singing 6.00-7.00 p.m. Concert (First half) 7.00-7.30 p.m. Interval for refreshments 7.30-8.30 p.m. Concert (Second half). The chairman mentioned that it would be helpful to ascertain whether the piano was in good condition as in his experience such concerts were often marred by an ineffective instrument. The Secretary said that if it proved desirable that the piano should be tuned, the cost should be deferred by our own Social Fund. This was agreed by all. Pte. Quy said that, if we arranged tuning, he knew a good tuner, Mr. Millstead, a blind man, who would appreciate the opportunity of doing it. With regard to lighting of the Hall Pte. Purdy said he had spoken to Mr. Scriven and arranged that Pte. Alborough should go along to the Hall one evening, overhaul the lights and put on new (gas) mantles where required. 25th May 1944......... Pte. Purdy was called upon to give an account of the Smoking Concert held on 13th May. He said that a serious snag arose on the Thursday evening immediately prior to the concert. No official invitation had been sent to Major Fitzgerald of the 36th County of London to attend and the Quartermaster, who had previously shown a disposition to be helpful, adopted a tone of indifference. He said that we should have to take our chances as to what drinks were available, he could only provide us with about 50 chairs and the only approach to the Ladies' cloakroom would be over the stage. There was another approach, but it was permissive only and permission was withheld. The position was reported to Major Denchfield who called upon Major Fitzgerald the next morning. He gave an official invitation to Major Fitzgerald which however the latter was unable to accept. No progress was made in the matter of the Ladies' cloakroom. Corporal Winfield, Private Quy and the Secretary met Pte. Purdy on the Friday evening and with the aid of a van driven by Sergeant Harris transported 80 chairs to the 36th County of London which, added to 70 belonging to the premises, made seating accommodation for 150. On the afternoon of the concert another unsuccessful attempt was made to get more convenient access for the ladies to their cloakroom. It was then found that the premises really belonged to a club next door, the secretary of which was peeved because no approach had been made to him. Pte. Purdy said that, as far as he could judge from applause and the remarks he had heard, the concert was well enjoyed; in his own opinion it was very good except for one performer who much overdid his indelicacies and who, having been warned after his performance in the first half of the programme, realised in the second half that his "turn" was not appreciated and ended it somewhat abruptly. The attendance was estimated at between 130 and 140 but there were very few members of the 49th which was a very disappointing feature. There were not sufficient people among early arrivals to allow of Community singing. A little singing competition was arrange for children and prizes were given. The children did very well. The cost of the concert was £10.5.1. (about £580 in 2023 money). In the absence of the Treasurer, Pte. Purdy could not say what had been realised from the sale of programmes. There were 252 left over which could serve for a future occasion if necessary. A vote of thanks was passed to Pte. Purdy for the hard work he put in to the arrangements of the concert and to those who had assisted him before and on the day..... ......The following resolution was put to the meeting: "that before making arrangements for further entertainments, test should be taken of members' wishes". This was carried unanimously....... No further events were organised and the Entertainments Committee never met again. So we shall never know the financial outcome of all these efforts; nor shall we ever know the Committee's future relationship with the 36th County of London; nor hear reports of the complaints of the lady guests who had to clamber up on to the stage and cross it whilst on their way to powder their noses. Let us hope that the financial loss was not too large; that damage to relationships with the Battalion's neighbour was not irrepairable; and that, as the queue of ladies stretched across the stage during the interval, all the Home Guards present were gentlemanly enough to pretend not to notice.