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Being a Report of a visit to the above in the Pike Age of the Home Guard
  The Battalion's first student, MAJOR T. J. H. HUME-HUMPHREYS


AS instructed, I reported at the above Military (H.G.) Academy on Friday the 13th, in place of the C.O., who at the last moment was unable to attend. The deletion of his name from the Nominal Roll was an almost intolerable addition to the burdens of the gallant officer (Admin) who welcomed me. Then writer's cramp gripped him halfway through recording my three baptismal and one (double-barrelled) surname. Finally, he wrote them on two lines. It pleases me, now, to reflect that I probably saved him from being drummed out of his swivel chair by thereafter answering "Present, sir" twice every roll call-once in reply to "Henry T. J." and once to "Humphreys H." I also felt it only fair to all concerned, at first, to say "Absent, sir" every time they called out "Cartwright, C." Later on, I ceased this practice - so many others became missing, believed ill.

The Course is open to Officers and N.C.Os. from Acting L/Cpl. upwards.

Everyone sleeps and messes together. There is no
silly formality engendered between students. When a Staff N.C.O. yells, "Hey, you, PICK UP that cigarette packet!" it is a matter of complete indifference to him which of the two nearest - Bn. O.C. (H.G.) or L/Cpl. (H.G.) - does it.  Usually it isn't the L/Cpl.  However, everything is very friendly and democratic, although, as far as I observed, officers (H.G.) were expected to carry only their own luggage up the sixty steps to the dormitories.

In the matter of conduct becoming to a Private Soldier, the Staff Orderlies gave demonstrations valuable to the younger, H.G. students by invariably springing to attention and saying, "Sir," when addressed by the School Officers. They also nobly refrained from embarrassing H.G. officers, by taking not the slightest notice of their rank (if any) at all times.

As no doubt you will be anxious to retrieve your lost opportunity after reading this report, I would mention that out of eighty