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The following was brought from an Adjutants'
Weapon Training Course:
Chief Instructor : "Have any of you
gentlemen seen ‘Home Guard Instruction No. 64’?"
A general chorus of "No, sir."
"Well," said the Chief Instructor,
"I haven't seen it myself yet, but I think it will
be published shortly because I received the first Amendments
A sentry was posted one night on the side
of the cut (canal). On hearing stealthy footsteps approaching,
he very correctly challenged : "‘Alt. Who goes
there?" "Friend," replied a voice out of
the darkness. "Advance, friend, and be reccernized,"
shouted the sentry. "Advance be jiggered!" replied
the voice. "D'ye tek me for a ruddy duck? I'm on t'other
side o' cut."
A young H.G. was called up for service and,
at his "Medical", was given a chit to see the
eye specialist for examination.
After wandering about the building for some
considerable time he eventually arrived at his destination.
The Ophthalmic Surgeon looked at the chit. "What do
you mean by coming here at half-past eleven?" he enquired.
"It says here that your appointment was for eleven
" I cor 'elp that," replied our young friend,
"I dey mek no appointment."
The wife of one of our members was very
much opposed to having her small boy immunized against diphtheria.
Our M.O. tried to reason with her and pointed out that it
was very necessary for the well-being of the child.
"What exactly is your objection"?"
"Well, doctor," she replied, "I
can't see any good in it. My old man says that they innoculated
him in the last war and he didn't feel the slightest bit
better for it."
At a test Mustering Exercise the Call-out
procedure was put into operation. About
23.30 hours, a caller-up went to one house and, after he
had knocked at the front door for some time, a female's
head appeared at an upstairs window. The owner of the head
wanted to know what he was playing at waking her at that
time of night. "Is this Sergeant So-and-So's house?"
he asked. "Yes it is," she replied, "but
don't yo’ get trapesing over me nice clean steps. Yo just
tek 'im round to the back."